Oops, I'm chagrined again
rambling, clearing thoughts...
So it’s been a week since my super long 13 things about me post, and I’m feeling like I want to hide the post, and just keep it for myself to read in 15 years when I think “oh yeah, I had that Substack for a little while”. I mean, only like 30 people viewed it, and who knows if they even read it, and why am I putting stuff out anyway? I said it’s cause I was enjoying the writing. AND I AM! …regardless any audience, or lack thereof. I’m just assuming that if I’m going to post rando poems, it can help to know where your author is coming from. That’s my main intent with the 13 things.
Believe it or not, I’m actually pretty shy. The tarot said that about the post that I need to get over myself, have faith, and that my circle of peeps enjoyed it well enough.
Also this week, I found an old manuscript of my poems from 2009, and while at first I was delighting in rereading them, by the time I’d read them all, I felt back in an unwell headspace, and I’ve been rather anxious since then. It’s all the stabby feels. Sometimes I can’t believe I got myself into such stabby situations, and took so many risks with the feels.
Maybe I wouldn’t be so chagrined if the formatting on that post looked ok at least. *sigh* So anyway, I just wanted to say that I guess, and pave the way for some new and old poems. I will try to have them up by tomorrow. I'm getting a lot of indications from the universe to just relax and be myself and not overthink things too much. Doesn’t the universe know though that I am the very definition of a ruminator?